Popular Mark Twain's Quotes And Sayings

No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.

Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.

Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.

How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and [how] hard it is to undo that work again!

Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.

To be great, truly great, you have to be the kind of person who makes the others around you great.

If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it.

Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.

Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go.

Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.

It's better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right

The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Focus more on your desire than on your doubt, and the dream will take care of itself.

Our lives, our liberty, and our property are never in greater danger than when Congress is in session.

Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

If we were meant to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear.

Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Success is a journey, not a destination. It requires constant effort, vigilance and reevaluation.

The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; it's that they know so many things that just aren't so.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

A little more kindness, A little less speed, A little more giving, A little less greed, A little more smile, A little less frown, A little less kicking, A man while he's down, A little more "We", A little less "I", A little more laugh, A little less cry, A little more flowers, On the pathway of life, And fewer on graves, At the end of the strife.

If you want to change the future, you must change what you're doing in the present.

Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.

The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

Just because you’re taught that something’s right and everyone believes it’s right, it don’t make it right.

Never miss an opportunity to shut up.

Temper is what gets most of us into trouble. Pride is what keeps us there.

If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it.

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can't forget. Those are your 'friends

If ignorance is bliss, why isn't the world happier?

If your only tool is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail.

We have the best government that money can buy.

There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press

Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy, and is captured by the shoemaker whom the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. The people invent their oppressors, and the oppressors serve the function for which they are invented.

They did not know it was impossible so they did it

I wonder if God created man because He was disappointed with the monkey.

I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

Those who do not read have no advantage over those who cannot read.

Great things can happen when you don't care who gets the credit.

Congress: America's only true criminal class.

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

The truth hurts, but silence kills.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

The world doesn't owe you anything. It was here first.

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.

Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement.

Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.

Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.

Sometimes people do get hurt

There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule.

In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.

Don't dream your life, but live your dream

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.

There is no security in life, only opportunity.

Knowledge becomes wisdom only after it has been put to good use.

The newspaper that obstructs the law on a trivial pretext, for money's sake, is a dangerous enemy to the public weal. That awful power, the public opinion of a nation, is created in America by a horde of ignorant, self-complacent simpletons who failed at ditching and shoemaking and fetched up in journalism on their way to the poorhouse.

I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it.

Most men die at 27, we just bury them at 72.

You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?

A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.

A little lie can travel half way 'round the world while Truth is still lacing up her boots.

Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.

The inability to forget is far more devastating than the inability to remember.

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

We are all ignorant; just about different things.

When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.

Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?

Make your vocation your vacation. That is the secret to success.

To be satisfied with what one has; that is wealth.

A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.